| lies, lies, lies |
[28 May 2010|12:17pm] |
Interesting fact of the day – 91% of us lie regularly.
I think the most startling part about this is not the fact that 91% of the human population lies or has lied or will lie. I think it’s generally expected for people to lie. But what makes this so startling is the modifier regularly. How exactly does lying become a habit?
If I were to list the characteristics of an ideal relationship, be it something on the platonic side or something more intimate, honesty would be in my top three. I think this holds true for most of the people as well. People value honesty. “Honesty is the best policy.” It stems from a fable, yes, but I do believe that people agree with it to some extent. Yet, we lie anyway. From a simple white lie about perhaps not doing your chores to monumental ones about affairs and embezzling money, you can see that one has an infinite number of opportunities to not tell the truth. Often times, people lie so as to not to hurt the ones they love, to shield them from the pain so to speak. I remember the first time I broke a glass. I was playing with the crystal clear glasses that were lined up neatly in our kitchen table. I tried to make a pyramid out of them, like you would with blocks. I don’t know exactly what happened first, the glasses falling down or me knowing that I was in serious trouble. Being the resourceful kid that I was, I tried to piece the broken pieces with clear tape. It looked like a masterpiece if you asked me, but of course, it wasn’t my mother’s beloved glass anymore. She came home that night and asked me if I broke a glass and naïve little me answered with a resounding “No.” I lied straight to my mom’s face. I’ll save you the story of the talk that followed and my TV-less days after that. What I can tell you was that the reason I didn’t tell her was because obviously I didn’t want to get in trouble first and foremost. But I think part of me didn’t want to disappoint her as well. I would’ve rather been cut by the broken glass, rather than have her say how disappointed she was in me, how hurt she was in what I had done. I lied perhaps because I didn’t want her to feel that way.
Years have passed and I still think this is why people lie most of the time. They don’t disclose the full truth in fear that someone will get hurt or angry or upset by it. They would rather go through the trouble of making something up and having to watch what they say in order to not break that façade. People would rather make up something and stick to it, than to be honest and hurt another person in the process. In a way, it is admirable in that it can be seen as a selfless act. However, in my opinion it is so contradictory to what we want in our lives that it seems almost pointless. Isn’t honesty what we want? Isn’t it the value that we feel we deserve? Then if we expect it from others, why can’t we do it ourselves? Perhaps it’s because we don’t want others to hurt us in that way as well? I don’t know. I haven’t really figured out that part but all I know is that we usually lie because we’re uncertain of what the truth holds. Will it ruin our friendships? Will it end a relationship we’ve worked so hard for? It’s the fear and uncertainty that make us lie.
I wish I could tell you the answers but then I would just be lying.
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